I don’t really know how to
explain the feeling reading produces within me. When I read I get lost in the
text and the fictional world the book creates. It’s as though these stories and
adventures come to life, and offer an escape from my reality. I assume the role
of these heroines I read about. Their lives are my life. And their trials,
adventures, hopes, and dreams are those of my own. In each of these
{fantastical} novels, the heroine falls for the brooding, strong, arrogant hero.
But upon further reflection, he falls so hard head over heels for her – he reveals
himself for the love sick sap that he is. It’s romantic and beautiful, to the point
you feel yourself falling mercilessly in love. Eventually you begin dreaming of your own Mr. Darcy, and the qualities you wish
him to possess.
I’ve always been the kind of girl
to always be involved in a relationship, or otherwise dating. But three years
ago, I suffered a serious {life altering} accident. My eyes opened to the reality
of what my life had become over the previous 2 years – and I made a decision to break from my reality and take the time to love myself instead. I spent 3 years focusing and learning each corner of my mind,
even the dark unopened spaces I always feared to venture into. There are places
in the far reaches on my mind that still, to this day, I term “unchartered
territory”. Corners which I wish to remain in the shadows.
During these dark times, reading became my therapy. It was
through these heroines I was able to develop a sense of the kind of woman I
hoped to be. Strong, confident, and graceful. A woman who took pride in her
intelligence and used it to its fullest potential. A woman who accepted the love
and support from those around her. Someone who was brave enough to face down
her fears and conquer the world beyond her reach. I wanted to succeed in the
areas I applied myself, but up until this point, I had never applied myself to
any area. I was a quitter, and I fled when things got tough and scary.
Except for literature.
My love for literature has
only ever grown. Stories and texts became my escape from the dismal reality of
my world. I grew both personally and morally, because of the fictional
characters I discovered in Stephanie Laurens Cynster Series.
(Historical Romance is officially my favorite
genre).
It was at this moment, I no
longer wished to settle for less than what I deserved. I came to terms with the
fact that I was a smart, exuberant, and social young lady. These were not
qualities I wished to shy from any longer– and therefore I realized one vital fact: I deserved
to be happy. I began to fantasize of my very own Mr. Darcy, my one true love
who would come to sweep me off my feet. He would accept that my intelligence
was vast, and that my love would always reside in the written text of published
works. He would accept that I had a fast smile and friendly face for strangers
of all walks of life, and furthermore he would encourage me in pursuing these
qualities of my personality. He would be ok with whatever skeletons were hiding
in my past, and learn to accept that my life would begin with him the day we so
chose it. He would love my inner beauty before any superficial outer shell.
And so after 3 years of
discovering myself and the woman I wished to be, this man revealed himself to
me. I guess it was my own wrongdoing for not noticing that he had been at my
side for the last 10 years. Patiently waiting, and coaxing this woman from the
inner guards of the most private places of my mind. He brought me to life. And
still to this day he continues to encourage me to better myself. He slowly
teaches me the virtue of patience, the effect a loving or forgiving word can
have on others. He shows me life is not about getting what you want, but loving
what you currently have. Because it’s enough.
In April of 2013, I fell in love
with my best friend of 10 years. And it was quite possibly the best decision I have
ever allowed myself to make. He was already a part of my family, but now he is the most integral
part of my support system. He currently holds the key to the future I want, and
the life I have always envisioned for myself.
He’s every bit the modern day Mr.
Darcy I have always dreamed of. And it’s safe to say I have been thoroughly swept
off my feet.
Until next time friends <3
Jess
This Week's Fashion Diary:
Monday
Wearing:
Blazer: The Limited | Blue Skinnie Minnies: The Gap Inc. | Chic Minnie Mouse Shirt: Forever 21 | Jewelry: Michael Kors Black Leather Watch, Stacked Rings (multiple designers)
Tuesday
Wearing:
Blue Sweater and Cotton Button Down (underneath): Old Navy | Pants: The Limited | Optics: Ray Ban | Flower Chain: J. Crew | Watch : Michael Kors | Stacked Ring Set: Henri Bendel
Wednesday
Wearing:
White Polka Dot Button Down: Old Navy | Red Wool Sweater: The Gap Inc. | Statement Chain & Bracelet: J. Crew | Black Leggings: Romeo & Juliet | Stacked Ring Set: Henri Bendel | Black Leather Watch: Michael Kors | Optics: Ray Ban
Thursday
Wearing:
Sheer Flower Blouse: Forever 21 | Blazer: The Limited | Blue Skinnie Minnies: The Gap | Watch: Michael Kors | Arm Party: Michael Kors, Gigglosophy
By the By: This week’s fashion looks are
provided from my business looks for this week. I work in Corporate America,
but try to infuse a sense of chic into my style. Business professional, does
not always mean Business Boring. I always add some kind of color, texture, and/or print in
order to make any style my own. I’ve heard once, that “an outfit without accessories
is like sex without the orgasm”. I found this statement to be extremely
accurate. The weather in sunny Florida has been somewhat dismal with all the
rain and overcast skies; however we were blessed with two days of cold weather.
Since I currently work in IT Services
(tech gal, surprising! I know lol) I always opt for pants and blazers as they
provide a certain level of comfort. But {again} comfort does not always mean frumpy and
boring ;)
p.s: all these looks can be found daily on my instagram account @fashionxplum
I hope you enjoy everything this
blog has to offer, and look forward to whatever else life has to offer.
